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The ministerial march


So the Ivorian Minister of Telecommunications and ICT said he was unaware of there being an ICT community here in Côte d’Ivoire. I know! I know! You would think that since two members of that community were arrested in 2013… Ah, we won’t dredge up old stories, but are you there Cyriac Gbogou and Diaby Mohamed? Still, Mr Bruno Koné said he didn’t know about any ICT community in Côte d’Ivoire. Oh, how he lamented the lack of competence in the whole of this huge country. It took the French ICT minister, Mme Axelle Lemaire, to remind him that, actually, there was a community and for Madame Minister to go to Abobo, Zone4 and everywhere she could to meet this community. She even had dinner with them!

Obviously, the ICT community of Côte d’Ivoire is angry and as it will be evident for a self-respecting ICT community, they took to Twitter and Facebook to express that anger. But, the revolution should not just be tweeted! No, no, no! In any case, brothers and sisters of the ICT community, the minister won’t know how you feel. Think about it! The man might have a Facebook page and no doubt a Twitter account but do you think he is conversant in social media use? He would have known about you otherwise.

Here is what I propose. Let’s listen to Serge Beynaud on this. Nous, on parle plus trop. So, let’s not waste time in discourses and do this the old fashion way.

Brothers and sisters, we will march! And not just any old march: A NAKED MARCH. Why a naked march? I must say, the idea sprang up on me but after giving it some thoughts, I think a greater idea has never been born.

Our country is hot right now. Let nobody take us for bus breakers or worse, Gbaka breakers. That’s if you believe a Gbaka can be broken. Can those things be broken???? And let nobody think we are Jihadists coming in from the north.

So, a naked march, it will be. On the residence of Mr Bruno Koné. Well, obviously! We don’t want to paralyse Côte d’Ivoire and beside, our beef is with Mr Bruno Koné. Our dear country is emerging (from where? From what? for who?) at the horizon 2020. Perhaps, we might ask Mr Bruno Koné why this emerging will occur at the horizon 2020 and not just in 2020???

So, we will just assemble in front of Mr Bruno Koné’s residence. I’m sure our Open Street Mappers will tell us where it is. Cyriac will take a selfie. Don’t worry, Cyriac, nobody will put you in prison this time. Diaby Mohamed will look serious. That man can do solemn so well!!! Israel Guébo will look beautiful as always. Antoine Mian will write one of his Facebook posts he always precedes with IRL or CIVEDU. Priscanad will write about the self-esteem of the ICT community. Will MTN agree to sponsor us? After all, they are everywhere you go. As for me, I will write a novel: The Ministerial March. Obviously, none of the events in the book will be true so any resemblance to real events will just be pure coincidence.

Renée Edwige Dro, Writer/translator – Africa39 laureate